Taylor calls herself crazy all throughout TTPD, but maybe I’m just as insane because I actually think she’s quite normal? Because if I ended a once happy 8 year relationship because the love was gone and we were both no longer in love to then get with a situation-ship who has been pinning for you for years only for them to abandon you when they finally got you, I’d commit full arson.
i love the…. almost horror aspects of this album. all the references to ghosts and death…. and sonically, the unexpected shrieking in WAOLOM and the banging and screaming during “old habits die screaming” and even the way the tension subtly builds across the sixteen tracks and by the end you’re so stressed and shaken it’s like! losing your sense of self and feeling like you’ve become a monster is horror. and i’m sooooo glad she leaned into it
levitating down the street!!! being abducted by aliens and then spit back out!!! feeling like she was being watched and hunted!!!!! this shit is fucking SCARY!!!!!!!!! because losing yourself is SCARY. it IS a horror story.
“i hate it here” is peak escapism and hearing her talk about how she lives in a garden no one else has access to in her mind (unlike the rest of her life) for most of the year is sooooo. made up scenarios and imagining living in the 1800s… it’s giving the lakes except she’s alone and she can’t actually leave. so much of the album is about feeling stuck and this one is about feeling stuck in herself.
thinking about “and i’m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free” and “give me back my girlhood, it was mine first” is actually making me feel sick to my stomach
ttpd is like… this fucking sucked… it was my fault… fuck joe… this also fucking sucked… fuck matty… i thought i was gonna die… straight up commit me to an asylum… FUCK matty… fuck joe… no one knows me… fuck kim kardashian… i created every problem and every consequence i have to face… please see me as human… i am exposing my flaws so you see me as a real person… fuck jake gyllenhaal… if you’re gonna be so up my business you better realize how fucked up my business is… also hi killatrav ily… there is nothing redeeming about this chapter of my life… hi mom ily… this ALSO fucking sucked… there may be good in the world… here is every sin i have ever committed… i was promised love and forever repeatedly and no one ever delivered… my reaction to trauma was awful… i made so many bad decisions… if you’re gonna crucify me do it for good reasons… are you not entertained?
